introduction.

Who is TheNefariousEllie?

An online persona that has yet to form a solid identity apart from its originator. Or, it is simply a name for a person who desires to explore an identity apart from a perceived one by way of cyber-creation. The one constant is the existence of the name for over a decade that now houses a creative enterprise for a sole creator.

No, really… What’s the origin story?

“(The*)NefariousEllie” was my screen name for a certain instant messaging website in the late 2000s/early 2010s. “Nefarious” came from a previously short-lived username that was inspired by a song used in a promotional teaser for a British TV show. The name “Nefi” in the song’s title implied a nickname or abbreviation for a longer word, which I assumed was “nefarious” (definition: evil, wicked, villainous). “Ellie” was a nickname that I wanted to be called, as someone who wasn’t given one in non-familial circles. (This had no relation or bearing to my given IRL name.)

*Inclusion of “the” depends on the character limit for usernames on a given website.

I was someone that no one considered “nefarious” in any aspect. By contrast, I was perceived as a “good girl” type with terrible deception skills and Catholic guilt that has taken years to unlearn. Labeled as “a pleasure to have in class” implied no room for mischief or deceit, even for the fun of it. But I did not think to make “NefariousEllie” as a character; it was only used as a unique username that had no indication of my real identity.

So, what changed?

It was a few years after graduating from college that I decided to retire the name on my personal social media accounts and go by something else. Then, the pandemic happened, leading me to search for outlets of distraction – which is how I returned to a favorite childhood game of mine called The Sims. I decided to start playing The Sims 4, which could only be downloaded digitally through the former Origin app, requiring an online account. Without much thought, I used “NefariousEllie” as my default username in order to play the game.

When it became apparent that I was sharing more screenshots of my gameplay than actual real-life photos on my personal social media, I decided to create a separate Instagram account under the name “thenefariousellie” – in a way, it was resurrecting an old yet familiar name for anyone in my personal life to be interested in checking out my thoughtlessly curated Sims content. (No one really cared or took notice.) But it was by this whimsical act that I found an online community of other Sims players who enthusiastically shared their game content on this platform called “Simstagram”.

Overtime, I focused on creating Sims stories and accepted the label as a Sims storyteller. Back when The Sims games were more of a solitary activity (I was either too young or too technologically inept to join earlier online Sims community groups and forums), I always created stories with my Sims to entertain myself. Now I had a space that allowed me to manifest those stories through the game and share with others to entertain, especially during the pandemic and during my time of remote learning in grad school.

How did you end up on Twitch?

I joined Twitch in 2022, as a viewer under the name “TheNefariousEllie”. I had no understanding of the language or culture of Twitch, but I was intrigued to see others’ gameplay in The Sims 4. Then one time, I joined the raid of a Sims streamer into another Twitch channel of someone playing Phasmophobia, a ghost-investigating game that looked scary to me, a then-Sims-only gamer. But I decided to continue watching subsequent streams of this Phasmo-player who presented as a chill late-night streamer unfazed by this slow-burn horror game.

Eventually I joined more Twitch channels under the categories of The Sims 4 and Phasmophobia, which were my early niches on the platform. The more I became present in various communities, the more I was known and addressed by my username. After a year as a viewer, I decided to try streaming. The goal for this venture was to build charisma, something I have struggled with for most of my life as a perceived “shy, quiet person” (which stands true, up to now). I slightly changed my username to “NefariousEllieTV” to set the intention.

June 2023 was the beginning of my streamer “career”. I didn’t think of making a living as a content creator; it was and still is more of a hobby for me. To be a streamer meant finding opportunities to connect with other people through playing games and talking about various things happening within our online spaces and outside in the offline world. It also allowed me to explore other games (including Dead By Daylight, an asymmetrical multiplayer horror-survival game) and find other communities that I felt more gravitated towards, namely BIPOC and LGBTQIA+.

As I enter my third year of streaming on Twitch and my sixth year on Simstagram, I am reflecting on what comes next on this journey as “NefariousEllie”.

And what’s next for you?

Who I was when I first created “NefariousEllie” is different from who I am now. Marginally different; thankfully I know better than I did in my teen years, but there is still more for me to learn and practice. By that, I am thinking of how to use this platform to make an impact. Regardless of magnitude, I am responsible for this space and how it could potentially affect someone’s life by my words and actions. Whether it is producing content for entertainment purposes or vocalizing my thoughts and opinions on certain topics or issues, I am fully aware of and responsible for my online presence and my connection to the wider web. I may be insignificant in its grand scale, but the Internet has a strange way of making anything ubiquitous and permanent – or, “viral” and “parasocial”.

That being said, I intend to use this space in two ways: 1) to centralize my online content on various platforms, and 2) to share my thoughts on anything relating to content creation or general activities connected to online spaces and navigation.

Writing a blog has been the one constant in my Internet life, but this is the first time I will be publishing under “NefariousEllie”. It is especially important nowadays to hold spaces for ourselves and for each other, with all the compassion and accountability that we search for, so that we understand where we are coming from and where to go from here.

These are my Nefarious thoughts.